We Wish All Orphans Were Loved Like Hadley

We are home from the orphanage visit and from lunch. Hadley is down for her nap and we are looking at the baby book that the orphanage gave to us. A baby book, can you believe it. Precious pictures from the day they found her at the front gate, narrated in Chinese handwriting by the Nanny that cared for her from 9 days old until 18 months. We will have this translated as soon as we return to the United States.

The day has been great from the start. As we walked out of the elevator returning to our room from breakfast, we were met by Jane, who works for a travel agency and has hosted families for Lifeline and other agencies for 10 years. We love Jane. She spoke great English and met us with a hug and all the warmth of a mother and friend we have known for years. She was wonderful and we so wish she had been with us all week. She is apparently Eva and Mr. Poo's boss and they sure were "Johnny on the spot" with her around. She was WONDERFUL. (Side note: Jane referred to Mr. Poo as "Peter" all day. We asked about his name and she said she always introduces him to English speakers as Peter because of the connotation "poo" carries - smart lady). We almost titled today "What a difference a Jane makes". She took to Hadley right away. She brought us more official paperwork and facilitated the orphanage visit today. She has a 17 year old biological daughter and her perspective, tone of voice, patience and desire to help us reflected the experience of a Mother and was something we were very thankful for. Jane narrated the trip for us to the orphanage, giving us great nuggets about the culture and showed us the sights as we drove through the city. Our friends Kellie and Stephen Merwin joined us. We are now referring to them as "The Calvary," because they have swooped in to save us so often. We hoped this would be a great opportunity for them to see inside a Chinese orphanage. Again, they served us by filming, taking pictures and helping with translations. God blessed us so richly by providing Jane and the Merwin's for us this morning.



Hadley slept during the 20 minute ride to the Social Welfare Institute. It is located in the suburbs of Hefei. China tends to keep most of their orphanages out from the center of the city. The entryway was inaccessible due to a major road expansion right outside the front gate, so we traveled up a very muddy dirt road to the side entrance of the orphanage. We were met by the Vice Director of the orphanage who would take us on our tour.



Hadley woke up as we got out of the van. Her eyes were wide open and we could only imagine what she must be thinking about. She wasn't crying, just looking all around. They wisely took us to Hadley's Foster Parents' house first. Hadley burst into tears when she saw her Foster Mom and Dad. She kept looking across the room at us and back at them - a lot for a little girl to take in. They seemed to be so loving and kind. I, of course, cried and Pat stayed strong. I couldn't imagine how hard it was for them to let her go, to see her today only to know she is leaving again in just a few minutes. They gave Hadley a banana to eat and her sweet Foster Dad scurried to find his stash of candy. They said she loves sweets and he has spoiled her. She is one of six children parented by this couple. They range in age from around 11 years to 16 months. There are ten families total that live on campus and function the same as Hadley's. As one child is adopted, another is rotated in. If the process slows for some reason, then kids just remain in the barracks style housing and do not get to be in a family. Her foster parents led us to her bedroom where there were three beds. Jane helped with all the interest of a Mom to get answers to questions about how she was put to bed, what type of clothing she slept in, etc. Without being asked, her Foster Mom offered toys and one of Hadley's nightshirts for us to take home for her. They were so kind. We were with them for about 15 minutes, the Vice Director took Hadley out early to avoid painful good-byes and smooth the transition to the next stop. Her Foster Parents really didn't have an opportunity to say good-bye to her. How painful her departure must have been for them. She has lived with them for 6 months. Jane said "They have to think of what is best for Hadley and for you now. It is hard for the parents but this is what is best for Hadley." We didn't know they weren't afforded the opportunity to say good-bye until we were driving back to the hotel as I was complimenting them on transitioning Hadley from room to room without upsetting her.






Next we went to the room where she slept as a baby. We were met by "Ja" her Nanny from birth to 18 months. Ja is the beautiful lady that is in the picture with Hadley on our kitchen counter. We have been looking at her face for 10 months now and we are so glad that we finally were able to meet her. She is so kind and has loved our daughter so well. She can get a kiss from Hadley on queue. She asks for one on the cheek while holding her and Hadley doesn't hesitate to plant one on her. She was the one who brought Hadley to the Civil Affairs Office on Gotcha Day. All during our time with Ja, Hadley was not crying, she was enjoying her suckers and candy that her Foster Dad gave her and looking around. She was transitioning well from one room to another and going to Pat and me without any hesitation. We were amazed and thankful.



The crib room was depressing. It was wall to wall cribs and almost all were full. Some had two kids in them. Each looked to be younger than 9 months old. From the crib room we went to the baby activity room. It seemed much bigger in the pictures we saw, but it was amazingly clean and bright. Jane told us that the SWI is very selective in picking the women who work for them. They provide great care for their children and they expect their workers to be excellent. Upon entering each room, we were met with beautiful smiling women who warmly welcomed us and who knew "Feng Jiao" or "Jiao-Jiao" by name.




We went to Hadley's play school classroom and this was fun. We were greeted by a rush of children at the door full of energy and in high hopes for treats. We broke out the suckers and bubbles and stickers and puzzles that we brought. The boys loved playing with Pat. Watching my sweet husband playing in a corner with orphaned boys longing for male attention brought me full circle. You see, he had a dream in college of working with orphanages or one day adopting our own child. To see the look of sheer joy on his face in this moment made me so proud of the man he is, his character and his heart. He has brought us here. He has been faithful and prayed and trusted God for the resources and opportunity. He always had this desire, I just got the privilege of walking beside him. I am proud to be his wife. (He does not get editing privileges on this part).














We got to meet Hadley's best friend, a little girl with the pigtails in a denim dress. What a cutie. They all were. Many were coming up to us just wanting some love and what a joy it was to hug them. They had a pot of fish and a bucket with a turtle in it sitting on the floor for their class pets. It is a place of learning and they are loved. We gave the Nannies and Teachers a copy of our Christmas card that had our whole family with Hadley's picture on the bottom. They seemed to really like having these.








Our guides were ready to leave before Pat and I were, as we just wanted the chance to love on some of those other kids for a little bit. Once again, Hadley left her teachers, friends and the building without a whimper. We went outside and walked to the front gate to get a picture. We had hoped to get a picture on the front steps as that was where she was found, but the steps were torn up due to the road construction. We took pictures by the gate and Jane told us about how the family that left her here must have been worried about Hadley's arm, realized she wouldn't be able to work well and without money to fix her arm, they probably thought giving her up was in her best interest. She was left in the dark hours of the morning, her parents would not have wanted to be seen. It is illegal to abandon a child and illegal to have more than one child here. What a tangled mess. The guard that found her was unfortunately off today, but guess who was minding the gate, Hadley's 16 year old Foster Brother. He had recently moved out of her foster family's home, but has stayed at the orphanage to work. We prayed that God would not allow us to miss anyone. He called her name across the patio saying hello earlier but we didn't know who he was. He was very sweet and we asked him to take a picture with his sister. His job for today was to help the older children cross the construction area in front of the gate safely as they returned from school. We left him with the extra bags of candy we had forgotten to leave for Hadley's class, so he could have some fun passing treats out to the older kids. We were thankful the Lord allowed us this opportunity.


We took a few more outside pictures and Daddy needed a potty break. When he walked away Hadley cried. She quickly stopped when he came back. We loaded up and off we went. We invited Jane, Eva and Peter, a.k.a. Mr. Poo, to have lunch at the Noodle shop. At lunch Hadley was happy and busy, busy, busy. She was busy like a two year old for the first time. If there is a good part to the sadness she has experienced, it has been her calmness in restaurant settings. I told Pat it would be nice if the calmness would hold on until we got through all the flights home. But we are thankful for busy. We will take a happy girl any day. She cried a little bit going down for her nap but no more than usual and here we are....relieved it is over and soooo very thankful to the Lord for answering all of our prayers and yours on our behalf. Thank you. We could not have been more blessed through this experience.