Together Under One Roof

We have been meaning to let you know how things are going at home. It has however, taken us 3 days to get this blog update ready. It is a bit more difficult to do this at home with four children rather than in a hotel room with one child. To sum it up, we are amazed. After a very long flight home, we arrived at the airport to a welcoming committee of family and friends. To say that it was wonderful for us to see everyone and to hug our big kids again is a huge understatement. I could not contain my emotions seeing our three kids there at the front of the group with huge smiles on their faces as we walked toward them with their new sister. Fifteen days and thousands of miles and finally we were home !!! We have already been forced to promise we will never, ever, ever go away for that long again.
Hadley handled the crowd graciously with only a few moments of crying. A sucker, some balloons and lots of smiles from family and friends helped. There was no way she could quantify the love of the people she had just met. So many of you have prayed, cried and labored through this process with us. It was amazing to bring her to be greeted by everyone. Thank you for such a warm welcome home. For those who couldn't make it, thank you for the cards, emails, birthday gifts and prayers. We had people praying for us in Africa, Australia, China, CA, TN, NC, VA, FL, and of course AL. We are very thankful.

With lots of help from our family, we arrived from the airport to our home at 10:30 pm and by 11:00, Hadley was running through the house, laughing with Gracie, Cole and Sam. We couldn't believe it. She jumped right in and began playing. The kids had to be reminded to contain their enthusiasm so they wouldn't overwhelm her, but she handled it great.

After a little bit of crying she collapsed into the bed and so did her travel weary parents. Pat got up with the big kids, but Hadley and I slept until 2:30pm the next day. Since we didn't sleep on the plane coming home, it worked out quite well. We adjusted to Alabama time within a few days. Hadley still had some middle of the night wake-up cries for the first week or so, but we have adapted to Central Time much better than attempting to adapt to China Time. She now sleeps soundly, once she gets to sleep. Her process of getting to sleep has changed to being pretty restless and lenghty.

She also continues to wake up crying in the morning or after her nap. I hope this will stop soon. I am sure it is still part of her adjustment, but it is sad to think that her first waking moment is one of sadness. She is easily comforted as soon as we pick her up.

Since being home, we have completed our appointment at the International Adoption Clinic and they were amazed at how well she is doing. Coming from such a great orphanage and having a loving caretaker has made our adoption experience "out of the norm." We will forever be grateful to the beautiful lady, "Joa", that took care of Hadley from 9 days until 18 months old and then continued to see her as she moved to her older preschool class. This woman paved the way for our little girl's smooth transition into our family. What a difference just one consistent loving person can make in the life of a child. Joa's position at the orphanage was funded by an extraordinary charity, the Half The Sky Foundation. Half The Sky's mission is to provide additional care takers in Chinese orphanages so that more children have the opportunity to have one primary care taker from birth to 18 months. I really want to learn more about this organization and its founders.

Hadley is continuing to astound us with how well she handles being on the go with the family, meeting new people, going to church, swimming, etc. She enjoys playing at home, too. She plays well with her siblings and is a great independent player also. Her favorite play activity is to take a few toys and sit on the steps by the front door. She lines up blocks, books, beads, whatever; and enjoys her own little quiet world for a while.

We are still working to carefully monitor her stimulation during the day. On nights when we have done too many new things, her sleep is very restless. It's a funny thing. We don't know how she handled the day until bedtime. She can be all smiles and sunshine during the day and then when it is time for sleep, all the negative emotion can come out. I am sure we will make a million mistakes, but so far she is guiding us through this process quite well.

She is beginning to learn some sign language that is bridging our communication gap. She can now say "hello, banana, sock, shoe,Cole, Lulu (our dog), bye-bye, rain, noodles and thank you". Pretty good for less than two weeks of total English immersion. We are working on "I Love You". It seems that she most likes to learn, giggle and talk when it is time to go to bed- hmmmm....but this is sweet time together. She is even laying down and putting her hands together showing me that she is ready to say her prayers. That is priceless.

We couldn't wait to have all of our children together, under one roof, and how wonderful it is. It feels like all is right in the world. Our first dinner at home, I looked at Pat and said, "all of our chairs are full, we are actually all here together." She continues to be a joyful child, full of laughter, smiles and energy (at least around home). She is unnerved by strangers and large crowds and wants Ma-Ma and Ba-Ba close. We are thoroughly enjoying this time, although we get overwhelmed at times with the dishes, laundry and noise (just like before). Most days are great and we are so thankful that we are finally all together at home.

We celebrated Hadley's 2nd birthday at a small park with adopted twin sisters Lily and Kate. Their Mom and I laughed as we introduced Hadley to the girls at the airport and said "meet your new best friends". It is our prayer that these girls will love each other and will find comfort in having similar stories. Lily and Kate are 8 months older than Hadley. They were very excited about making her cupcakes for her birthday. We enjoyed this "low key" celebration. We pray that this is the beginning of a special relationship between these three precious girls.

Thank you for your prayers for us. It was so evident that we were being lifted up before our Father while we were gone. We ask that you continue to pray for Hadley's emotional connection with us and comfort for her heart as she has moments of remembering the orphanage. We would also ask for prayer as we seek to continue to connect with our three older kids. Going from three to four is one thing but when it is a fourth that needs so much extra attention, it is a heavy addition. We pray that our kids will remember this time as an opportunity to see beyond themselves and really learn what it means to serve each other. It is such a huge priviledge to have this little girl as our own. We are thankful to our Lord for providing such a perfect addition to our family.

So Long China, Hello Sweet Home Alabama!

We leave tomorrow to go to the U.S. Consulate's Office for some final paperwork and Hadley's visa for the U.S. We will then literally run to try to catch an early train so that we don't have a two hour wait. If we miss it, we will find some nice air conditioned restaurant to hang out in until the next one. We will spend one night in Hong Kong and then catch an early morning flight to Newark, NJ and then Newark to Atlanta and Atlanta to Birmingham. If all flights are on time we should arrive at home at 8:35 pm.



Many have mentioned a desire to meet us at the airport and we would love to see you. Please do not feel pressured to come, as it is late for kids, but we would love to hug you and thank you for supporting us during our journey and show you our China doll. We know you will understand that we won't be passing her around for hugs quite yet, as the long trip and another new place will be unsettling for her.



Thank you for the kind words, laughing and crying with us along the way. This has been unforgettable. We hope you can forgive our indulgence in sharing such details of this experience. Our hope has been that in experiencing these ups and downs with us, someone may be motivated to adopt another child waiting for her family. If anyone does, please let us know so we can cheer you on from home, as you have done for us.

A Walk in the Park and the Likes of Hadley

We went to the botanical gardens today. It was a beautiful place. Full of amazing flowers and plants and manicured lawns and trees.

We thought our kids would enjoy hearing about the foods we have found so far that Hadley likes to eat. She is not a picky eater. She eats great and has a very wide range of tastes. Some of these foods include: mandarin oranges, apples, loves bananas, pineapple, orange juice, apple juice, grape juice, eggs with anything, diced tomato, ham, onions, (or all together in an omelet), crackers, croissants, chocolate chip muffins, banana bread, chicken, french onion soup, potatos, tofu, all vegetables and anything you can do with rice and noodles. So far we have only found that she doesn’t like bacon, ketchup or carbonated drinks. She is a very healthy eater and most times we feel we put the brakes on when we think she has had enough. The ironic thing is one day she may like something and we will try it the next day and she will not want it. Jane, one of our guides in Hefei, said that she was used to bland foods in her orphanage so for a long time she will be just trying everything we are giving her. It is a whole new culinary world for her so we will keep trying and testing to see where she settles.

When we first accepted Hadley's file and agreed that we wanted to adopt her we were given a two page bio. on her. A few things have turned out not to be true from her bio. sheet. The one sentence that I kiddingly said scared me the most was "she is easy to wake up" ie...she is a light sleeper and doesn't sleep well. We have not found this to be true so far. This girl sleeps great and we have not yet woken her up with our typing, packing, shopping bag rustling, phone ringing or getting into our own sqeeky beds at night. (Funny right after writing this, Pat accidentally woke her up when he came in from shopping with "the guys" to the electronics mall). She has slept through every night with us except two and it seems that the uncomfortable bed space was the issue, we shall see. We understand that this may change when she is settled at home, but all signs point to her continuing this great trend. We are thankful that in a house full of other kids and a dog that she is a good sleeper.

All the other things written about her at 9 months of age have been dead on. She is extremely outgoing and friendly, likes musical bright toys, has "darling looks," she is smart, she likes to mimic and she is active. She hates to have the covers over her feet while she sleeps or even if she is sitting in your lap with a blanket. Her Foster Mom gave me this tip and I have found it very useful. We have also found that she likes things neat and clean. She will move all her toys from the table over to the floor and then back when it is time to go to bed. She finds the tops for things around the room and returns them to us to put them back with the bottom piece. She even brought me our meal vouchers when it was time for us to leave for breakfast this morning. I love having another girl who likes things organized. !!!

Pat and I keep looking at each other and shaking out heads. This is not the typical blog for the adopting parent and we know that and are humbled. God has done this for us and we will never be the same. We never even dreamed to pray for this easy of a transition for her. We knew we would love her but the ease of establishing our relationship with her is really unheard of. I already feel like she has always been with us. I cannot imagine life without her in it. Isn't that strange? She hasn't been with us a week yet. That is an act of God!

Shopping is Hot in Guangzhou

Everyone who has adopted from China before us has said "You will love Guangzhou." They're absolutely right. We have no worries when Lilly and Rebeca are running the ship. They have taken care of every tiny detail for us and we have been able to relax and focus on Hadley.

Today was reserved for shopping. Nothing else was planned and rightly so. We were told by those who have gone before us to wait until Guangzhou to buy anything. Now we understand why. They have huge malls and a million stores all along the street. We were overwhelmed and hot. There were not many stores offering air conditioning. In fact, we made our choice for lunch based on whose air was working the best. It wasn't the most fun day for Hadley but she handled it well. She loves stroller rides and was content 90% of the time. Sam would have been nuts in about 10 minutes with the humidity and the crowds. We enjoyed the day and got time to visit with families from our travel group a little more.

We came back to our cool hotel room (yea!) for Hadley to get some much needed rest. Two funny stories I have to share. I did see a blouse that I liked from a window. I needed another light-weight shirt as even my t-shirts are hot. I tried it on, liked it and then the clerk showed me how the blouse would expand as my belly grew...we had accidentally gone into a maternity shop. I assured her that I no need for any maternity clothes, we laughed and quickly left.

We forgot to tell you that our guide Rebeca was asked by some of the local people while we were at the clinic if we had a celebrity in our group. Yes again, I am married to the look alike for that handsome fella Steve Martin. I think that has happened to us about 4 times since we have been married. I told Pat that is a compliment. I think he is very handsome. Good thing I like grey haired men with great senses of humor. I don't know if Steve Martin is a Father, though he has played some funny ones in the movies, but Pat had a good Father's Day. The big missing part of his day was spending time with Gracie, Cole and Sam. We really miss them. Daddy got a great Father's Day card that Gracie and Cole made for him, complete with a picture of Cole and Dad skate boarding together. Gracie gave Daddy a beautiful picture drawn by herself with a paragraph about why she likes him. She thinks her Daddy is as funny as a clown. So maybe Pat is more like Steve Martin than he would like to admit. We can't wait to get home and introduce Hadley to everyone, especially Gracie, Cole and Sam.

We will go to dinner tonight and head out the the botanical gardens tomorrow and to the riverboat cruise tomorrow evening. It should be a fun but muggy day. Happy Father's Day to our Fathers. Love to all.

A Day for Doctors Visits, First Words and a Kiss!

Today was the day for our Chinese doctor appointment. We walked about 4 or 5 blocks in the rain and muggy heat. It felt like Birmingham (actually more like Miami or Cuba, that's how close to the equator we are). At the medical clinic, we took turns getting into three lines. One line checked baby's temperature, weight and height, etc. - we checked in at a wonderful 28 pounds. My biceps are feeling pretty strong these days. Pat is taking his turns carrying her. I just can’t keep it up. We finally got a stroller and she loves it and actually gets upset when it is time to come out. This girl likes to be on the go. She will fit in very well at our house. The second line is for ENT. She has beautiful teeth, she can hear a squeaking toy and yes, she does have two eyes -check. Not sure how useful that part was, but onto the third line for the Dr's exam. The Dr. studied Hadley's medical record provided by the orphanage and then poked on Hadley some. There was a long discussion between the Dr and our guides, Lily and Rebekah, regarding her Erb's palsy. It seems there was never a record of her shoulder damage on the original medical record. That information was added into her profile for Lifeline after the medical record was sent out to the CCAA, I suppose. Anyway, the encouraging news is that the Dr. said her right arm functioned equally to her left arm. She made us change the record stating the reason for her special need status was "birthmarks." Hadley handled this prodding like a champ. Most of the children did. We were amazed. There were few tears to be heard.

We went back to the hotel for lunch and then up to the room for nap. Mama and Hadley would nap while Daddy would go do paperwork to prepare for our consulate appointment and confirm all information for our trip HOME !!!! Hadley was sad to come back into this strange hotel room. We had not had many smiles yet today. I held her close a few minutes and she fell asleep with about 6 minutes of crying and big tears. She has enjoyed having her pooh bear from her Foster Parents' home today. What a blessing from the Lord, far beyond what we could have hoped or imaged, that we would be given something of hers to take with us. She slept her normal two hour nap but woke up crying and ready to see her Daddy. We can tell she was very attached to her foster father. We know he did spoil her for those 6 months but Jane mentioned that he probably did not work outside the home. He was home helping care for the 5 sometimes 6 kids that they had from the orphanage. He was very fond of her, that was for sure, and the feeling was mutual. This information has been great for us because she has taken to Pat so well. On the other hand we have had to be very careful that she does not get too many needs met by him during this attachment phase. She must see me as her primary care giver alone (the one who feeds her, changes her clothes , helps her potty, gets her to sleep---the basic level need issues). If she does not, she will go through great sadness all over again when he goes to work. There have been a few times when she has resisted me going to pick her up and pulled back toward Pat. We have gulped and quickly pulled back the reins on how much he was doing. This is hard for Pat but he knows it is essential for her. We wish our Daddy could stay home to help me raise our 4 children but that is not possible in America.

Pat came in the door after nap and snack and play time and I got to tell him Hadley's first English words "rain and shoes" and that I got Mamma's first kiss. I hate the camera didn't capture that one. She was happy again. She had taken her dress off for nap and we had slipped her night gown back on. Before I could redress her she ran around in just her panties giggling. Every baby loves to be as naked as possible. We spent a lot of time today going over her family book of pictures and showing her pictures of Gracie, Cole and Sam. Gracie and Cole spoke to her over the phone tonight for the first time, she was still (for the most part). It did our hearts good to know our daughter was hearing their voice, the ones who had prayed so fervently for her from the first time they saw her picture.

We went to dinner with our group tonight to a Thai restaurant that was suggested by Lily. It was great. Pat and I realized it was the most food we had eaten since we left the states. It felt good to finally be full. We did some shopping on our walk back home and picked up our laundry. For those of you old enough to remember the ad on TV, all I could thing about as I opened the clear paper so nicely wrapped around our fresh clothes was "ancient Chinese secret, huh?" We came home, played a little more, called our kids as previously mentioned and got our sweetie to sleep in her bigger bed. She slept better only a few tiny cries through the night and I think that was due to her blanket coming off. I slept better. I didn't wake up until 4am, yippee. We have a full day of shopping ahead of us today. Gracie girl, I wish you were here for shopping with the girls. Cole, we are still on the look out for that dragon shirt and Sam, we are looking for something for you that you can play with and not injure anyone else (maybe a marshmallow sword?). We love you and will write more soon.

Humming and Hairclips

Friday was our last day in Hadley’s hometown. We began our day at breakfast and we were thankful to find our friend Merry working this morning. We had planned to give her a red envelope as a gift of appreciation for her helpfulness to us in learning what things to feed Hadley. The wonderful thing about most Asian people working in service jobs is that they really do act as if it is their pleasure to serve you. Merry was very gracious to receive our gift but we could tell it truly was her pleasure to help us and she was looking for no reward for her kindness.

We left breakfast to go shopping for…luggage. We knew we were going to buy one more piece in Guangzhou so we decided to go ahead. We had to take our fancy potty with us and of course our fan and we forgot to plan for taking the care package gifts we had sent to Hadley in her orphanage back home with us (blanket and large bear) so we ventured out. We got “take-away” (to-go) Kentucky Fried Chicken for lunch. They serve an egg drop soup with vegetables in it so Hadley was happy too. We went back to our hotel to begin the huge task of repacking everything to prepare for our 3pm luggage pick-up. We must confess, despite our best efforts, we brought too much stuff with us and we are getting many comments on how much luggage we have. Oh well, when we bring Hadley, Sam, Cole and Gracie back one day, we will know better (who are we kidding, a family of six, now that luggage will definitely draw some choice remarks from some bell men).

Our afternoon spent packing in the hotel room turned out to be Hadley’s happiest afternoon yet. So many giggles, games of hide-and-seek, belly tickles, playing with toys and hair clips and humming! We were so happy to hear her singing her own little happy tunes. We were amazed. She was so wound-up that we decided to give her a bath to calm her down before her nap. She took to it better this time but we made it quick. She did not want to go down for her nap but reluctantly did with only a little crying.

Jane came to bring us Hadley’s passport and we were ready to leave for the airport. We had woken up our sleepy girl and got her dressed and she was ready for her next adventure. She handled the airport check-in well and didn’t tear up at all. She has a solemn expression with strangers but was totally different when she was alone with us. We said good-bye to Mr. Poo (Peter), Eva, and Jane and boarded our plane to Guangzhou.

If Hadley could have ridden on the wing, I think she would have. She loved looking outside. After take-off I had to make her leave the shades down as it was very bright at dusk and the sun was too much on our side of the plane. Fearing a migraine, from the repeated attempts at the bright light coming in, we redirected Hadley’s attention to the “bag of tricks” we had planned for the ride.

I will pause now to ask for prayer for my headaches. I think this bright light exposure triggered the start of a migraine last night that we were able to divert with meds I brought. I am a bit concerned for my return trip home. I feel fine now, but I had to take a lot of medicine last night. Please pray that my headaches will stop. Pat feels great now, but asks that you continue to pray. He can't remember the last time he felt this good!

Hadley fell asleep on the plane about 20 minutes before landing. She got her power nap and was ready for us to get our luggage and head to the White Swan Hotel. We were greeted by our new guide, Lilly, who showed us our room and gave us the plan for the morning. By 10:30 pm we were just getting PJ's on and going to bed. Going to bed tonight was hard because Hadley was just started feeling really comfortable in the last hotel. She did allow me to hold her close and look in her eyes and she returned my gaze for a while. This was a great sign to us that she truly beginning to trust us. We put her in the bed they provided which, to us, looked too small but she had fallen sound asleep in my arms.

About 1 am she woke up crying hard. (This is the first time she has woken up in the middle of the night since we brought her home). We know she was scared and sad but she also couldn't move in that bed. I pulled her in bed with me and she went right back to sleep. At least she slept. I was dealing with my headache all night but I was glad she was comforted enough to sleep through the rest of the night. Tomorrow we will ask for a bigger bed for her. I enjoyed having a sweet girl to snuggle with.

Off to Guangzhou

We leave this afternoon to travel to Guangzhou and the famous White Swan Hotel. This hotel is known as the "baby hotel" locally and there are normally around 50 foreign adoptive families there at any given time. We will receive Hadley's passport late today and then be on our way.

Next on the agenda is our appointment with the U.S. Consulate which occurs on the 18th. While we wait, Hadley will have a required Dr's exam and then we will join other families currently in China with Lifeline and do some group touring and shopping. Our next post will probably come a bit late, since we will be in transition most of today. Thanks so much for all the encouraging messages.

Video of Hadley

This video was taken of Hadley on Tuesday...
http://www.loulie.net/site/eddins/hadley_eating.asp

The photo gallery has been updated with many of the pictures from Tueday and Wednesday.

We Wish All Orphans Were Loved Like Hadley

We are home from the orphanage visit and from lunch. Hadley is down for her nap and we are looking at the baby book that the orphanage gave to us. A baby book, can you believe it. Precious pictures from the day they found her at the front gate, narrated in Chinese handwriting by the Nanny that cared for her from 9 days old until 18 months. We will have this translated as soon as we return to the United States.

The day has been great from the start. As we walked out of the elevator returning to our room from breakfast, we were met by Jane, who works for a travel agency and has hosted families for Lifeline and other agencies for 10 years. We love Jane. She spoke great English and met us with a hug and all the warmth of a mother and friend we have known for years. She was wonderful and we so wish she had been with us all week. She is apparently Eva and Mr. Poo's boss and they sure were "Johnny on the spot" with her around. She was WONDERFUL. (Side note: Jane referred to Mr. Poo as "Peter" all day. We asked about his name and she said she always introduces him to English speakers as Peter because of the connotation "poo" carries - smart lady). We almost titled today "What a difference a Jane makes". She took to Hadley right away. She brought us more official paperwork and facilitated the orphanage visit today. She has a 17 year old biological daughter and her perspective, tone of voice, patience and desire to help us reflected the experience of a Mother and was something we were very thankful for. Jane narrated the trip for us to the orphanage, giving us great nuggets about the culture and showed us the sights as we drove through the city. Our friends Kellie and Stephen Merwin joined us. We are now referring to them as "The Calvary," because they have swooped in to save us so often. We hoped this would be a great opportunity for them to see inside a Chinese orphanage. Again, they served us by filming, taking pictures and helping with translations. God blessed us so richly by providing Jane and the Merwin's for us this morning.



Hadley slept during the 20 minute ride to the Social Welfare Institute. It is located in the suburbs of Hefei. China tends to keep most of their orphanages out from the center of the city. The entryway was inaccessible due to a major road expansion right outside the front gate, so we traveled up a very muddy dirt road to the side entrance of the orphanage. We were met by the Vice Director of the orphanage who would take us on our tour.



Hadley woke up as we got out of the van. Her eyes were wide open and we could only imagine what she must be thinking about. She wasn't crying, just looking all around. They wisely took us to Hadley's Foster Parents' house first. Hadley burst into tears when she saw her Foster Mom and Dad. She kept looking across the room at us and back at them - a lot for a little girl to take in. They seemed to be so loving and kind. I, of course, cried and Pat stayed strong. I couldn't imagine how hard it was for them to let her go, to see her today only to know she is leaving again in just a few minutes. They gave Hadley a banana to eat and her sweet Foster Dad scurried to find his stash of candy. They said she loves sweets and he has spoiled her. She is one of six children parented by this couple. They range in age from around 11 years to 16 months. There are ten families total that live on campus and function the same as Hadley's. As one child is adopted, another is rotated in. If the process slows for some reason, then kids just remain in the barracks style housing and do not get to be in a family. Her foster parents led us to her bedroom where there were three beds. Jane helped with all the interest of a Mom to get answers to questions about how she was put to bed, what type of clothing she slept in, etc. Without being asked, her Foster Mom offered toys and one of Hadley's nightshirts for us to take home for her. They were so kind. We were with them for about 15 minutes, the Vice Director took Hadley out early to avoid painful good-byes and smooth the transition to the next stop. Her Foster Parents really didn't have an opportunity to say good-bye to her. How painful her departure must have been for them. She has lived with them for 6 months. Jane said "They have to think of what is best for Hadley and for you now. It is hard for the parents but this is what is best for Hadley." We didn't know they weren't afforded the opportunity to say good-bye until we were driving back to the hotel as I was complimenting them on transitioning Hadley from room to room without upsetting her.






Next we went to the room where she slept as a baby. We were met by "Ja" her Nanny from birth to 18 months. Ja is the beautiful lady that is in the picture with Hadley on our kitchen counter. We have been looking at her face for 10 months now and we are so glad that we finally were able to meet her. She is so kind and has loved our daughter so well. She can get a kiss from Hadley on queue. She asks for one on the cheek while holding her and Hadley doesn't hesitate to plant one on her. She was the one who brought Hadley to the Civil Affairs Office on Gotcha Day. All during our time with Ja, Hadley was not crying, she was enjoying her suckers and candy that her Foster Dad gave her and looking around. She was transitioning well from one room to another and going to Pat and me without any hesitation. We were amazed and thankful.



The crib room was depressing. It was wall to wall cribs and almost all were full. Some had two kids in them. Each looked to be younger than 9 months old. From the crib room we went to the baby activity room. It seemed much bigger in the pictures we saw, but it was amazingly clean and bright. Jane told us that the SWI is very selective in picking the women who work for them. They provide great care for their children and they expect their workers to be excellent. Upon entering each room, we were met with beautiful smiling women who warmly welcomed us and who knew "Feng Jiao" or "Jiao-Jiao" by name.




We went to Hadley's play school classroom and this was fun. We were greeted by a rush of children at the door full of energy and in high hopes for treats. We broke out the suckers and bubbles and stickers and puzzles that we brought. The boys loved playing with Pat. Watching my sweet husband playing in a corner with orphaned boys longing for male attention brought me full circle. You see, he had a dream in college of working with orphanages or one day adopting our own child. To see the look of sheer joy on his face in this moment made me so proud of the man he is, his character and his heart. He has brought us here. He has been faithful and prayed and trusted God for the resources and opportunity. He always had this desire, I just got the privilege of walking beside him. I am proud to be his wife. (He does not get editing privileges on this part).














We got to meet Hadley's best friend, a little girl with the pigtails in a denim dress. What a cutie. They all were. Many were coming up to us just wanting some love and what a joy it was to hug them. They had a pot of fish and a bucket with a turtle in it sitting on the floor for their class pets. It is a place of learning and they are loved. We gave the Nannies and Teachers a copy of our Christmas card that had our whole family with Hadley's picture on the bottom. They seemed to really like having these.








Our guides were ready to leave before Pat and I were, as we just wanted the chance to love on some of those other kids for a little bit. Once again, Hadley left her teachers, friends and the building without a whimper. We went outside and walked to the front gate to get a picture. We had hoped to get a picture on the front steps as that was where she was found, but the steps were torn up due to the road construction. We took pictures by the gate and Jane told us about how the family that left her here must have been worried about Hadley's arm, realized she wouldn't be able to work well and without money to fix her arm, they probably thought giving her up was in her best interest. She was left in the dark hours of the morning, her parents would not have wanted to be seen. It is illegal to abandon a child and illegal to have more than one child here. What a tangled mess. The guard that found her was unfortunately off today, but guess who was minding the gate, Hadley's 16 year old Foster Brother. He had recently moved out of her foster family's home, but has stayed at the orphanage to work. We prayed that God would not allow us to miss anyone. He called her name across the patio saying hello earlier but we didn't know who he was. He was very sweet and we asked him to take a picture with his sister. His job for today was to help the older children cross the construction area in front of the gate safely as they returned from school. We left him with the extra bags of candy we had forgotten to leave for Hadley's class, so he could have some fun passing treats out to the older kids. We were thankful the Lord allowed us this opportunity.


We took a few more outside pictures and Daddy needed a potty break. When he walked away Hadley cried. She quickly stopped when he came back. We loaded up and off we went. We invited Jane, Eva and Peter, a.k.a. Mr. Poo, to have lunch at the Noodle shop. At lunch Hadley was happy and busy, busy, busy. She was busy like a two year old for the first time. If there is a good part to the sadness she has experienced, it has been her calmness in restaurant settings. I told Pat it would be nice if the calmness would hold on until we got through all the flights home. But we are thankful for busy. We will take a happy girl any day. She cried a little bit going down for her nap but no more than usual and here we are....relieved it is over and soooo very thankful to the Lord for answering all of our prayers and yours on our behalf. Thank you. We could not have been more blessed through this experience.

Orphanage Day

Today is our day to visit Hadley's home for the past two years. She was found on the steps of the orphanage by one of the guards at nine days old. Her mother (or father) had great, great taste in orphanage selection. We owe a great debt to the people who have raised her thus far. They have certainly fostered strong relationships with her and we are now the beneficiaries. Without their work we would not be seeing the small jestures of trust we are receiving from her now. We would ask for you to pray for our day if you read this before we return home. We are praying the following:
1: that we would get great information that helps us understand Hadley's life (as best as we can) before she came to live with us.
2: we pray we can meet her foster mom and get pictures of where she lived and slept and had school
3: we can get pictures of all those there that were significant in her life - the Lord can show us who the sideline players might be, a cook, housekeeper, who really loved her
4: we can have a full access tour of the orphanage and they would not restrict what we see or hear that would affect how we help Hadley now and in the future.
5: this one is the scariest to write: to trust God that Hadley will want to leave with us. As parents we feel we have gone miles in a few days already but Hadley must do this today to be able to move ahead in an emotionally healthy way. Child behavioralists specializing in orphans tell us that this little girl needs to be able to go back, see those she loves, see that her care givers trust us and experience her care givers hand her back over to us. That handover will do something for her. She will see us as safe and approved by those she trusts. She should say to herself "well, if they think this is ok, it will be ok" (although it may not feel that way right now). Sounds very hard for a child to experience, but necessary for her to move forward in making a proper attachment with us.

Thanks for praying for us today. We will let you know how it goes as soon as we all recover.

A Day for Missing Home

It was overcast and rainy today - makes for a hard day for a girl who has left everything she has known for their whole life. It also makes for a hard day for Mommies and Daddies away from 3 of their children. We began this rainy...(what day is it?)...Wednesday up in the dining room for breakfast. We got a table by the window to watch the raindrops and the busy working people below. We were excited about our previous easy-to-bed evening and our solid night of sleep (at least Daddy and Hadley's solid sleep that is). We actually came to breakfast w/o a camera and we were lamenting this decision as Hadley decided to feed herself some breakfast foods for the first time. Up until now, she would only allow me to feed her. We didn't know if she could or would. We were deciding whether to go back to get the camera to capture the moment when our excitement about this step forward turned to sadness as Pat noticed that her stirring of her congi (rice soup) began to get slower and slower. She stared down for a while and then with that very sad face began to cry. That two handled cup, small spoon and feeding herself must have taken her back to the orphanage - she was missing her family. Funny thing was, I had a big lump in my throat looking at the raindrops thinking about my three kiddos at home and wondering how they were doing today. This was the start of a very hard day for our little girl and for her parents watching.


We scooped her up, went back to the room to shower and get ready for the field trip to the Provincial museum. I don't think they had Hadley in mind when they choose this for the outing. In some ways Chinese culture does not cater children, ours does too much.




We got through the museum. Hadley was melancholy and sleepy because we had given her some cold medicine that had made her tired. We stopped by a tea shop on the way home to feed her lunch and buy some green tea to bring home. Anhui Province is famous for green tea. During our tea shopping Pat had a blast being led around the store by Hadley. She was holding his finger and smiling as they played together. She allowed him to toss her in the air and tickle her. She did have some happy moments in the morning. We came back home and got ready for her nap. She cried a little but went down pretty easily. Unfortunately about 30 minutes into her nap construction noise next door woke her up. She cried but allowed me to pull her onto my chest and rub her back until she fell asleep again. She slept for another 3 hours. We finally decided it was time to wake her up.


We woke her up and brought her into the den to have some milk and a snack. She was crying a lot. I grabbed a plastic cup that has two handles (now I know what you are thinking - didn't we learn from breakfast, but she had used it yesterday and it didn't bother her) and put some peanut butter crackers in it. Pat had fed her some PB crackers the previous day and she loved them so I thought this was a good choice. She whimpered some and wouldn't eat. I decided to give her some smarties which have been the biggest hit with her thus far. When I emptied them into that cup she was holding, that was it - the flood gates opened and they wouldn't close for a while. All we could do, is pray for her heart while I kept holding her and telling her that we knew it was hard and we loved her. We let her have some time to get it out and then we got out of the room. We walked in the rain and all enjoyed being outside. We have only had one hot day here because it has either been rainy or cloudy and that is fine with us.



We walked back to Walking Street and decided surely Hadley could eat some spaghetti noodles while we enjoyed Pizza Hut, again. Nothing like comfort food. She did not like the naked noodles with cheese, but when we added the sauce, she loved it and used a fork to feed herself for a while. Pat learned the hard way that Chinese spaghetti sauce doesn't really equate to Italian spaghetti sauce, but Hadley loved it. We left to go buy a few things and ended up with one small shopping bag with carrying strings. Hadley would use this for the rest of the evening as her purse with straps pulled up around her elbow and arm bent like a 40 year old woman on a shopping spree. People were stopping to look at her like crazy. They keep telling us how beautiful she is. Pat and I know we now have two beautiful daughters in our family. At bed time she whimperred a little, but no full blown meltdown. We are thankful because she needed a break today.

Slideshow

Here is a link to some of the pictures in a slideshow.

http://www.loulie.net/site/eddins/hadleyslideshow.asp

What A Difference A Day Makes

Sorry for the delay in our posts. We had a long day, yesterday and were very tired. It was another amazing day.

We had to wake our sweet girl up yesterday morning. She slept through the whole night. We're sure the trauma of the day induced extra sleep. She took a 3 hour afternoon nap instead of her normal 2 hours also. Her Nanny provided us a written sheet of her normal eating, sleeping, napping schedule to take with us from our first meeting. Of course, it was written in Chinese so our guide, Eva, is graciously translating it for us.

Our friend from the restaurant, Merry, met us and helped us select appropriate breakfast foods for her. She had egg with tomato in it, plain congi (a bland sort of rice soup), fruit and some half cooked yeast rolls with bean curd in the middle (yum). I offered her some banana bread from my plate and she ate it up too. I was happy to find some common ground there to build on. Cole and Gracie - we will definitely be making our banana bread now won't we? She did great at breakfast and we began to see glimpses of her starting to relax slightly.

After breakfast, we left to return to the Civil Affairs Office to do all the official paperwork. They wisely understand that Gotcha Day is not the day for lots of document signing and interviews. It would be too much on the child to endure with the trauma of leaving every thing she knows with strangers. They took us back into the same room we were in the day before. We would have chosen a different room, but they didn't ask us. You could see on Hadley's face that she was wondering if her loved ones would be back in that room, but she seemed to be OK when they weren't there.

We had to tell the officials we found her "acceptable" and we promised never to harm or abandon her. We handed over our papers, signed more of their papers, they made her foot print for her signature - they used red ink of all things (not on her new white dress please). We gave a gift to the Civil Affairs Lady, did an interview with the Notary, got our picture made with Hadley in front of the Chinese flag as we were presented with a certificate of adoption, making her ours. It was official. She is now Hadley Lu Eddins according to the People's Republic of China. That was a great moment. She sat sweetly the whole time and colored in a book we brought, never making a sound and never trying to get down. We were through in 1 hour.

Now for the good stuff: Back at the hotel as Eva, our guide, was helping Pat with directions to the Merwin's apartment, I began playing with Hadley (Jiao-Jiao) nibblng on her neck while she sat in my lap. And there it was - our first smile. She giggled and smiled ear to ear as I tickled her. I got Pat's attention and he quickly came over and snapped some great pictures.

Programming note: We are now blogging written details to pictures that have already been placed on the blog. Our excellent techno guru, Ron Luster, Jr. a.k.a. "Uncle Mayonnaise" is Mr. Johnny on the spot. We will have to be more prompt. Thanks for all of your help, Ron.

Eva jumped in the van with the driver, Mr. Poo (I love his name - Poo!) and was gone until the next day. We went to "Walking Street" to do some shopping for Hadley. Walking Street is a pretty neat place. Lots of locally owned store fronts, as well as, national chain department stores and restaurants. We ate at Pizza Hut two nights ago. The Pizza Hut guys must have given up on the U.S. market and are putting all their eggs in China. This is not the Pizza Hut we are used to. It was very upscale and very good - but, I digress.

We bought Hadley some cute pajamas and a couple of cheap toys and then went into Parkson, the big department store, and fed her some noodles at one of the small restaurants within the store. She fell asleep in her stroller on the way back and we all got some rest.

She was upset when she woke because she had had an accident, she didn't potty before she fell asleep. So, since she was already wet, we attempted her first bath. She did really well, dispite the fact that we really didn't know how she had bathed at the orphanage. When we asked her Nanny how she normally bathed at the Civil Affairs Office, she replied "she will need help with her bath." We assured her that we would not toss the the toddler the soap and leave her to her own devices. After her bath, she was a little upset and cold. I'm glad I packed some long sleeve shirts for her. She looked so cute in her pink outfit with a white bow in her freshly washed hair. We loved dressing up our Gracie and we are loving dressing up our Hadley, now.

Now that everyone was presentable, we travelled over to the Merwin's in response to a much appreciated invitation to some home cooked "American style" food. We have never been so touched by the generosity of other believers. They hardly know us and yet are treating us like family. Their help has been indispensable. We didn't realize that Hadley would have a hard time seeing them again. Remember, they were with us on Gotcha Day. I guess she associates them with leaving her Nanny. She immediately started crying hard when she saw Kellie and Stephen. She finally was consoled but never left my lap the whole night, never played with a single toy. We're glad to report that she didn't let her emotions overide the prospect of a good meal, however (she is such an Eddins). She ate Ramen noodles (Yes, Gracie, Cole and Sam - the same noodles that you like so much), bananas, plums and a very interesting looking chicken meat stick, kind of like a Slim Jim. We had wonderful spaghetti and salad with amazing cookies and "Coke Light" on ice. These were the first drinks on ice we had had since we left the states. What a meal! The Merwin's and their teammates really treated us to a wonderful night!

Upon returning to the hotel, Hadley settled in and responded better to familiar surroundings. I snuggled and read her a book and unbelievably, in spite of such a crazy day, she went to sleep and NEVER CRIED. We don't know if that's good or bad, we just pray we're helping her the best we can.

Photo Gallery

Here are some of the pictures taken on their trip:
http://www.loulie.net/site/eddins/hadley.asp

We will try and post more as they send them.

A Little Girl Trying to Be Strong

Each night I go to sleep quite tired at about 8pm (7am Alabama time) and yet again, here I am - up, wide awake at about 12 or 1am. Oh well, a good time to catch up on e-mail, blog and hopefully not have such a hard time when we get home. Let me take this time to say that Pat and I have turned into quite a blog posting team. I write the original draft, he fixes all my typos, grammatical mistakes, detail ommissions and downloads all the pictures. It is working quite well. He is feeling a bit under the weather so please pray for his health to return his full energy to him. He is amazingly giving his daughter comfort in conquoring numberous Chinese phrases and continually repeating them to me as I can't seem to keep them in my brain.

It was truly an amazing day. I was not nearly as nervous the morning of Gothcha Day as I was even the day before in preparing for it. I know our calmess was due to the faithfulness of family and friends bringing us before the Father. I only cried the minute I saw her and when I was putting her pajamas on at night. I don't know how much to tell of the details of this as any mother's heart just wants to rip out when you think about what these precious children must feel their first nights away from all they have known their whole life---but since you are in the deep end of the pool with me, I will tell you.

She went to sleep about 8:30 after about 30 minutes of very, very, very sad crying. She doesn't scream when she cries, it is just a heart ache cry of sadness and longing for what she is used to. Again, I don't want to betray privacy for her with a large audience but since it seems other adopted children have gone through similar things, I know this is typical. This leads me to tell you that we felt totally prepared for all that we encountered our first day with her, our first visit, her responses, her first night, the primal cries, the distant looks, the not wanting to look at of us in a mirror together, the stiff body when we held her (sometimes). This preparation is due to the Lord's prompting and the million and one conversations I have had with Jennifer Chambers, Jill Barnhart and others about their children, adopted children in general and roll playing the what-ifs. It is in no means a testimony to my skill in breaking through this incredible grief Hadley will be feeling for months (possibly years) to come. We were encouraged that she would allow herself to collapse into me at times which is something that usually happens down the road in the attachment process.

Earlier in the day, after some time in the hotel room we left to go to the outside playground. This is small basketball court size space on top of the hotel. She was more interested in walking rather than playing. We would do laps enjoing the cool early evening breeze with the wind blowing in our hair. She would let me hold her hand and she would walk with me and then stop and look up and put her sad face on as she remembered. I would grab her cheeks, kiss her, hold her tight tell her I know it is hard and that I love her and say it is going to be alright. She would never start crying. We would continue this routine for about 20 minutes. She was trying so hard to be strong and so was I. I just have to keep telling myself this is for her good...this is for her good.

We went in to get Daddy ("Ba Ba"- not the sheep) for dinner. We were a bit behind her normal eating schedule. I guess I clued in she was hungry when she tried to eat a piece of clover that I picked for her. She did hold onto that piece of clover until I took it out of her cute little fingers to wash her hands for dinner. When I asked her nanny what she liked to eat, she said, "oh, she should eat healthy things" so being a good mommy and daddy, we ordered her the fried rice and I got a hamburger and french fries (a craving since leaving the US). Of course I couldn't resist offering a french fry which she tried reluctantly but liked---that's my girl. But I definitely pushed the envelope when I added the ketchup to it. She ended up in tears and quickly downed about 3/4 of her orange juice. We will save that for another day. Baby steps.

We have a friend in the hotel restaurant named Merry. She is helping us make good selections for her. Merry said she will see us for breakfast. The people here are so sweet and so eager to help. A busboy came over to tell us in his best English we have a "darling looking daughter" we proudly said "shi shi" thank you.