A Little Girl Trying to Be Strong

Each night I go to sleep quite tired at about 8pm (7am Alabama time) and yet again, here I am - up, wide awake at about 12 or 1am. Oh well, a good time to catch up on e-mail, blog and hopefully not have such a hard time when we get home. Let me take this time to say that Pat and I have turned into quite a blog posting team. I write the original draft, he fixes all my typos, grammatical mistakes, detail ommissions and downloads all the pictures. It is working quite well. He is feeling a bit under the weather so please pray for his health to return his full energy to him. He is amazingly giving his daughter comfort in conquoring numberous Chinese phrases and continually repeating them to me as I can't seem to keep them in my brain.

It was truly an amazing day. I was not nearly as nervous the morning of Gothcha Day as I was even the day before in preparing for it. I know our calmess was due to the faithfulness of family and friends bringing us before the Father. I only cried the minute I saw her and when I was putting her pajamas on at night. I don't know how much to tell of the details of this as any mother's heart just wants to rip out when you think about what these precious children must feel their first nights away from all they have known their whole life---but since you are in the deep end of the pool with me, I will tell you.

She went to sleep about 8:30 after about 30 minutes of very, very, very sad crying. She doesn't scream when she cries, it is just a heart ache cry of sadness and longing for what she is used to. Again, I don't want to betray privacy for her with a large audience but since it seems other adopted children have gone through similar things, I know this is typical. This leads me to tell you that we felt totally prepared for all that we encountered our first day with her, our first visit, her responses, her first night, the primal cries, the distant looks, the not wanting to look at of us in a mirror together, the stiff body when we held her (sometimes). This preparation is due to the Lord's prompting and the million and one conversations I have had with Jennifer Chambers, Jill Barnhart and others about their children, adopted children in general and roll playing the what-ifs. It is in no means a testimony to my skill in breaking through this incredible grief Hadley will be feeling for months (possibly years) to come. We were encouraged that she would allow herself to collapse into me at times which is something that usually happens down the road in the attachment process.

Earlier in the day, after some time in the hotel room we left to go to the outside playground. This is small basketball court size space on top of the hotel. She was more interested in walking rather than playing. We would do laps enjoing the cool early evening breeze with the wind blowing in our hair. She would let me hold her hand and she would walk with me and then stop and look up and put her sad face on as she remembered. I would grab her cheeks, kiss her, hold her tight tell her I know it is hard and that I love her and say it is going to be alright. She would never start crying. We would continue this routine for about 20 minutes. She was trying so hard to be strong and so was I. I just have to keep telling myself this is for her good...this is for her good.

We went in to get Daddy ("Ba Ba"- not the sheep) for dinner. We were a bit behind her normal eating schedule. I guess I clued in she was hungry when she tried to eat a piece of clover that I picked for her. She did hold onto that piece of clover until I took it out of her cute little fingers to wash her hands for dinner. When I asked her nanny what she liked to eat, she said, "oh, she should eat healthy things" so being a good mommy and daddy, we ordered her the fried rice and I got a hamburger and french fries (a craving since leaving the US). Of course I couldn't resist offering a french fry which she tried reluctantly but liked---that's my girl. But I definitely pushed the envelope when I added the ketchup to it. She ended up in tears and quickly downed about 3/4 of her orange juice. We will save that for another day. Baby steps.

We have a friend in the hotel restaurant named Merry. She is helping us make good selections for her. Merry said she will see us for breakfast. The people here are so sweet and so eager to help. A busboy came over to tell us in his best English we have a "darling looking daughter" we proudly said "shi shi" thank you.

An Amazing Day

I woke up this morning at 4 am and made myself stay in bed until 5am. I couldn't sleep anymore. I have played it over and over a thousand times, what would it be like when we first saw her and how would she be when she first left those she loved? Well now we know.

First, to tie up some loose ends; we found out that our paperwork mix-up was just a misuse of terms. Our guide didn't mean "referral" she meant "travel approval". She said that I shouldn't have worried. Is she kidding? She has no idea what a paperwork misstep can cause you in the U.S. adoption world. We know all too well and we are thankful that this was not a problem. We are also so thankful to the Lord that He provided us with two angels of mercy, Kellie and Stephen Merwin. They are friends of Phil Chambers from Briarwood. Stephen teaches English with ELIC and Kellie stays home with their 19 month old son, Miles (what a cutie!). They expect their second child in October! We were able to speak to them before we traveled and discussed getting together on Sunday. Little did we know that they would be such a tremendous resource on such issues as computer adaptors, converters, phone cards, ideas on menu choices, etc. They also graciously agreed to join us on our Gotcha Day to film our first moments with our daughter. We cannot imagine having gone through this day without them. Kellie helped me tirelessly, with her excellent Chinese, seeking out information from Hadley's Nanny that would help us in caring for her as well as taking amazing pictures. Stephen used the video camera for us and also helped with translation and thinking of excellent questions. If we are posting these pictures properly (big if) there is a picture of the Merwin's, Eva, our guide, and us close to this sentence.

We were so glad to have our cameras out when we walked into the door of the Civil Affairs Office(CAO) because our sweet Hadley was sitting right there, by the door in the lap of her Nanny that had cared for her from 9 days old(when she was left at the orphanage) until 18 months old. She is the beautiful lady that was in the picture that has been on our counter since last January. She was very sweet and you could tell that she loved Hadley. I think that Hadley's most recent Nanny will be there on Thursday when we go to the orphanage. We know, from our friends the Willards, that when they told Hadley's present Nanny that we were coming soon she became very upset, so today might have been too hard for her. We are so thankful for the Lord answering our prayers and allowing women to invest time and love into our little girl until we could get to her. He did that---He sustained her, just as He promised us He would do.

Hadley was very nervous at the CAO, she clutched two suckers tightly, and avoided our smiles. She pushed deep into the lap of her Nanny. She is so beautiful. Pat and I immediately recognized her when we walked in the room. She is amazingly healthy. Let's just say she will fit in very well with the Eddins' crew and Pat and I will have great biceps by the time we get home from carrying her around.

The toys and snacks we brought did little to entice her, which is understandable. You could just see in that little face how nervous she was. When we asked about her personality, they said she "very smart, outgoing, loves colors and musical toys, likes to be the boss." Uh-oh Sam, you are in for a run for your money as soon as sister gets settled in.

She sleeps in a bed, not crib, is potty trained (except for night-time diapers). She is a light sleeper and has been in her Foster Mom's apt. since she was 18 months old. She sleeps in a bed by herself (often foster families put more than one child in a bed) but is one of 5 children in her foster family. She goes by the nickname "Jiao-Jiao", Jiao is her given Chinese first name. We are calling her that for now. She tolerated a lot of pictures but soon started to cry whenever she saw the flash go off. We came back to the hotel and planned to go find a kid's potty chair. She was extremely unnerved by the hotel room so instead of the Merwin's going to get the chair for us, we decided to all go. Hadley or "Jiao-Jiao" was much happier outside of the hotel room. We had to discuss getting rid of the crib and getting a toddler bed brought to our room with the hotel staff. The front desk people wanted to get a look at her size first I think before they would even consider it. Most likely she will be sleeping with me.

On our walk, we were so excited that she let us both hold her and she drank some yogurt - the Chinese yogurt is much thinner. I was thrilled she was confortable enough to even drink. She let Pat carry her some, too - amazing to me after such a short time. Kellie helped us pick out something for lunch and told Hadley in Chinese that we would feed her lunch and then she could go for her nap. Hadley ate up the fried rice with salmon and miso soup and yawned her way through lunch. She passed out on my shoulder on the way back to the hotel where she is now asleep in the bed. We know she will wake up scared, but for now...all is good and we are thrilled and thankful to the Lord for carrying us this far. Thank you for your prayers. This is definitely a surreal experience.

Gracie, Cole and Sam - isn't she beautiful - look what God did for us. He is faithful. We love you, Mom and Dad, or MaMa and BaBa in Chinese.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Well, we made it to Hefei with many adventures along the way. We started our day early leaving Hong Kong with a smooth ride to the airport with plenty of time for our flight. We checked in, nervous about how much luggage we had (3 large bags to check and 2 carry-ons each). You are only suppose to have 1 bag each and 1 carry on. We made it through check-in without having to pay extra baggage fee (so far so good). We must admit we searched for the kindest female face, smiled and tried out our best Chinese phrases. We were grateful for this blessing. We made it through security and immigration with the only problem being the loss of our baby soap by security. He kindly tried to help us, but in an effort to reallocate pounds to avoid excess baggage fees we forgot we had put it in one of our carry-ons.

We quickly figured out that we would be challenged having to deplane, get all of our luggage, go through security and immigration again to make our connection flight to Hefei. Each leg of the flight was only 1.5 hours but on Saturday, there is no direct flight. Our connection experience could have been straight out of a bad episode of I Love Lucy. We had to go through Chinese customs, were directed to four different counters to have new boarding passes issued and got lost trying to find check in - all while carrying about 250 lbs of luggage in tow. At the check in counter we found no kind female face and had to pay for extra baggage (I think the people in Hong Kong just liked us better). Meanwhile the clock is ticking and our gate is far, far away. Don't forget, no one speaks English and we're all talking sign language to each other. Needless to say, we did make it.

Once we arrived in Hefei we were met by our guide (Eva) and our driver Mr. Poo. I hope Eva ment the bear and not the stinky stuff. We drove to the hotel through many dusty streets. It seems all of China is under construction. That transition went smoothly. She handed us an envelope with our itinerary on it. We discussed that we will go to the Civil Affairs building on Monday morning at 9am (8pm Sunday Alabama time) to meet Hadley for the first time. She also gave us a list of documents to have ready. We came with our documents all ready, stamped, sealed, authenticated. We work with an amazing adoption agency that is on top of things----they go above and beyond to help us so when Eva informed us that we needed documents that we had not brought with us, believe me it was a surprize. We e-mailed Karla, our social worker, and she assured me that these were new requests for information, but it would be handled and not to worry. We are waiting for news from Karla and are praying they have their wording mixed up and we actually have what they need. We realized as we walked into our hotel that we were both fighting an amazing feeling of lonlieness. I miss our kids so much my heart aches to be this far away from them and know that I have so many days left until we can all be together. The hotel room was nice enough but it wasn't bright and only had two small windows. The hotel staff were very considerate in providing a crib and a stroller.

Just so you know we haven't forgotten about our kiddos at home, we have made or own little portable picture gallery of our lovies. We struggled with our basic needs communication, food and sleep. We couldn't make any of our outlet adaptors and voltage converters work, even though we had no problem in Hong Kong. Therefore, we had no computer access (we are writing this on a rented computer), no fan to provide white noise for sleep (I still can't sleep more than 4 hrs. at a time w/o meds.), no curling iron (makes for flat hair -see picture), we made poor menu choices for dinner. Not to mention I found a hair in my soup. All this to say, we woke up this morning with heavy hearts. We wanted to be at our best and strongest to help Hadley when so goes through this huge transition. Instead, we feel increadibly vulnerable. I think the Lord has us exactly where He want us...totally reliant on Him. We tearfully spent time praying this morning before breakfast. We told the Lord exactly how we felt and told Him we would trust Him. Pat read Psalm 91 which my Dad has been praying for us. We confessed that we are spoiled and used to the many comforts of home.

We left for breakfast and went to the beautiful hotel restaurant with 360 degree view of the city. We had amazing hot tea to warm the soul and we ate to Kenny G's Christmas music on the radio. No kidding. The music selection alone provided some much needed laughter. We had a great breakfast with everything from made-to-order omelets, banana bread, cereal, sushi, bacon, fruit, rice, vegetables, fresh juice, and did I mention the amazing tea? We stuffed ourselves hoping to stay full until dinner. The restaurant was bright and cheerful and I plan to keep Hadley up there in the mornings for as long as she will tolerate it. We left and rented our computer so that we could keep connected to home and will spend the afternoon shoping for a computer cord, a fan (since ours blew up), baby shampoo and I may or may not find a curling iron.

We are preparing our backpact with goodies, toys, anything that may make our first meeting with Hadley enjoyable. We fear her sreaming/crying as we have to quickly take her away from those who have loved her for two years. We are excited and scared too. But this we know...we are where we are suppose to be. We are called to be here and the Lord has given us this promise "And your ears will hear a word behind you, 'This is the way, walk in it', whenever you turn to the right or the left" Isa. 30: 21. This is the comfort I have of knowing how to mother this precious one who has never been loved by a mother.

Thank you for your e-mails of encouragement for us. Never have I realized how much words of love mean for those far from home. We love you. Thanks for loving us.

Can we get on with it, please?

Hong Kong is a huge and beautiful city, but we would just as well be with our daughter in Hefei, thank you. We are biding our time very impatiently and trying to have a little fun in the process. Today we took a tour of Hong Kong. It was rainy and foggy all day except for the mid-afternoon. We started by going to Victoria Peak on Hong Kong Island, where our hotel is. From here, one is able to see all of the island and the famous Victoria Bay that separates Hong Kong Island from the Kowloon Peninsula and mainland China. Huge modern buildings surround the bay on both sides. We're told it is quite breathtaking. We saw fog and clouds! From there, we went to Stanley, a beach town on the sought side of the island. We saw the primary temple of Tin Hau, the bhuddist goddess of heavenly peace, or is it eternal tranquilty? Anyway, Tin Hau was a women sailor who lived around 64 AD who has been deified because she had supposed magical powers and saved sailors from storms. The temple was built in the 1300's. Afterward we went to the fishing town of Aberdeen where we saw the largest floating restaurant, appropriately named "Jumbo" and lots of fancy yachts and a bunch of the Sam Pan boats that are used as taxis. Here we are at the Sam Pan launch with the Jumbo restaurant behind us. I took a ride on a Sam Pan with Billy, our tour guide, to see the large fishing boats, called "junks," and a boat city where many house boats are anchored in the bay and are the permanet residents for a lot of people. Karen decided not to brave the waves and had an adventure in a supermarket. Here is a Sam Pan similar to the one we rode.

After Aberdeen we decided the best option might be to sit and talk about Hong Kong, rather than continue to fight the rain. I can say, they make good beer here!

How do you get to Hefei?

Well we thought it was about time to clue you in on our schedule. Here is what to expect over the next 15 days:

Thursday 6/7: Arrived in Hong Kong around 7:30 pm, got in our room around 10:30pm

Friday 6/8: Half day tour of Hong Kong with the Willard's friend Billy Lai. In the afternoon we plan to regroup and rest.

Saturday 6/9: Fly to Hefei connecting through Xiamen (each flight about one hour long). Prepare to meet Hadley.

Sunday 6/10: There is an outside chance we may meet Hadley today. We will be prepared if that is the case

Monday 6/11: Meet Hadley at the Hefei Civil Affairs building and slogg through some paperwork

Tuesday & Wednesday 6/12 & 13: Get to know Hadley. Take walks, go swimming, whatever Hadley wants to do.

Thursday 6/14: We visit the Hefei Social Welfare Institute (SWI), Hadley's orphanage home for the past two years. We hope to find out as much as possible regarding how she has been growning. Things she likes and doesn't, etc. - big info. gathering day. Hadley has the opportunity to say bye to her caregiver

Friday 6/15: Hadley, Momma and Daddy fly to Guangzhou to make all things official at the U.S. Consulate's office

Saturday 6/16 - Sunday 6/17: Medical appointments and more fun. We'll go to the Zoo, the pearl market, toy market, mulitiple markets and take a river cruize.

Monday 6/18: Consulate appointment

Tuesday 6/19: We receive Hadley's visa and depart for Hong Kong by train. One brief night in Hong Kong and then it's off to the airport

Wednesday 6/20 HADLEY'S BIRTHDAY: We get to bring our girl home on her birthday.
We switch planes in Newark and, barring no delays, we arrive in Birmingham at 8:30 pm and can't wait to our kids all together.

We made it to Hong Kong

After sixteen hours on a plane and another three hours through Thursday night traffic, we made it to the hotel on Hong Kong island! We're sweaty and tired. I hope we can sleep. We will write more tomorrow when we have our witts about us. Love to all of you. Night. Night.

How we got here

Thirteen months ago we started the process of adoption and here we are now, about to travel to meet this cutie! We thought it might be helpful to for you to know a little bit about how things have unfolded during this long process. The short explanation can be summed up in two words - You wait! Four words would be more accurate - You wait for everything!

April 2006 We attended our first official Lifeline Children's Services meeting to learn about international adoption. We had already been in much prayer and consultation with friends who had traveled this amazing road. We knew during this meeting that adoption from China was definitely what God wanted for our family. We told Gracie, Cole and Sam our decision a few weeks later. They were very excited. Here's a of picture of Hadley's three older sib.s.

May 2006 We began the mounds of paperwork including fingerprinting by the local police and the FBI, an extensive home study (four interviews with our social worker, I don't know how we passed!), financial analysis, physicals, letters of recommendations from friends, police clearance letters, marriage and birth certificates, lengthly essays describing our earnest desire to adopt, plans to incorporate Hadley's native culture into our family, her care plan, our life stories in our own words.....I am tired again just writing all of this down. There were some bumps along the way that caused delays (you wait for everything) but God used them in our family to show His perfect timing and to help us pray together for our Hadley to hang on and be safe until we could come get her and bring her home. Our hearts longed to be together as a family and it is hard not to have all of your children under one roof. It is miraculous that God can do such a work in your heart to bond you to a child through a photo. We have never seen her in person or touched her sweet face, but she is ours and we love her as though she has been with us from the start. During these long months we began to pray that God would allow us to bring Hadley home before her 2nd birthday.

June 2006 Pat went on a trip to China with our Missions Pastor and close friend, Phil, and my Brother, Ron - Pat's the one with the cute legs. He got a great taste of the culture and was able to hug on precious kids at various orphanages that they visited. We decided to pursue a child on the "Special Needs" list. Potential adoptive parents are able to adopt children on the SN List via a somewhat compressed timeline compared to a healthy child adoption. The wait for a non-special needs child has recently changed to close to 3 years. We were able to select which criteria of "need" we were willing to accept and then be matched as children became available. By July, we were 2nd on the list to receive an assigned special needs child. Hadley has/had Erb's palsy, nerve damage caused by a "stuck shoulder birth." She had a partially paralized right arm, but has received physical therapy, and is reported to have no symptoms today.

July 2006 We completed more paperwork.....and waited.

August 2006 We received our referral (0ur assigned file). We finally saw the face of our daughter. I remember getting the call from Karla, our social worker telling us that they had our file ready and that Pat and I could come to the office to see her that afternoon if we wanted to. Was she kidding??? I immediately lost my appetite for lunch and scrambled to get my kids home from swimming and taken to a friend's house. Pat ran to get more tapes for our camcorder. We were like parents going to get an ultrasound done. We traveled to Lifeline's office, sat on a couch and saw the precious face of Lu Feng Jiao (soon to be Hadley Lu Eddins) for the first time. Karla wisely talked to us first before showing us the picture. She said if she showed us it first, we wouldn't hear anything she said after that...she is a wise lady. I gasped when I saw her face and immediately started crying. It is so hard to understand unless God prepares your heart. I sure didn't get it until I was the one sitting in the seat looking at the face of our daughter.

September-November 2006 We waited on approval from the U.S. Center for Immigration Services (CIS) for our fingerprints. In October, we received our second set of pictures (3) from her orphanage. She is about 15 months old in this batch. We were able to send a care package to Hadley during this time. Gracie, Cole and Sam had fun as we packed a box with a Build-A-Bear teddy bear, who wore a shirt with our family picture on it and a MP3 player with mom's voice was built into it's hand, a photo album of our family, plus candy for the caregivers and children. We really don't know if she ever received it, but I like to think she has already memorized my face and voice (she's exceptionally smart - you can tell by her picture)!

December 2006 After a very, very, very long wait (135 days at the CIS office) we were finally able to mail our documents to China. The file was taken by Lifeline's Rep. in China, Lily, to the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA).

January 2007 Our log in date (LID), meaning the day the Chinese government entered us into their computer system, was January 18th. This was a big day because we could begin to estimate how much longer we had before we could actually travel to get Hadley. The usual wait from LID until you get you letter of approval (LOA) is about 3 months. The LOA says that China approves of you as parents - glad to know that! Did I mention that adoption agencies like acronyms?

March 2007 New pictures of Hadley! We were told of a lady in the states who operates a photography business with her Father, who lives in China. He went to Hadley and snapped these shots (for more than a nominal fee!). They are living quite comfortably by profiteering off of us information starved adoptive parents. We're glad they are! Look how cute she is!

April 2007 We received our LOA.......and waited.

May 21, 2007 We received our Travel Approval and U.S. Consulate appointment for June 18th where Hadley will become an official U.S. citizen and legally be ours forever! The wait is truly almost over. Presently, we are scrambling to get our travel plans in order and finish up things here at home. The funny thing about the whole process is, once you receive your travel approval the admonitions change from"wait and be patient" to "hurry, hurry, go! go!" We are grateful and more than eager to go, whether we will ever be ready or not. Praise God for the blessings he has already provided us through this process. We leave for China on June 5th! This last picture was taken by our friends the Willards who have just returned home (May15th) with their two Sons, Alex and Matthew. The boys were actually in the exact same orphanage as Hadley and it is our good fortune that the Willards live in our home town. We're sure Hadley's transition to home in good ole' Bama will be easier because her buddies are with her.

I mentioned earlier that we have prayed to bring Hadley home before her 2nd birthday. We will actually board our home bound flight on June 20th - her birthday! God is faithful. "I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever, with my mouth I will make known your faithfulness to all generations." - Psalm 89:1