Together Under One Roof

We have been meaning to let you know how things are going at home. It has however, taken us 3 days to get this blog update ready. It is a bit more difficult to do this at home with four children rather than in a hotel room with one child. To sum it up, we are amazed. After a very long flight home, we arrived at the airport to a welcoming committee of family and friends. To say that it was wonderful for us to see everyone and to hug our big kids again is a huge understatement. I could not contain my emotions seeing our three kids there at the front of the group with huge smiles on their faces as we walked toward them with their new sister. Fifteen days and thousands of miles and finally we were home !!! We have already been forced to promise we will never, ever, ever go away for that long again.
Hadley handled the crowd graciously with only a few moments of crying. A sucker, some balloons and lots of smiles from family and friends helped. There was no way she could quantify the love of the people she had just met. So many of you have prayed, cried and labored through this process with us. It was amazing to bring her to be greeted by everyone. Thank you for such a warm welcome home. For those who couldn't make it, thank you for the cards, emails, birthday gifts and prayers. We had people praying for us in Africa, Australia, China, CA, TN, NC, VA, FL, and of course AL. We are very thankful.

With lots of help from our family, we arrived from the airport to our home at 10:30 pm and by 11:00, Hadley was running through the house, laughing with Gracie, Cole and Sam. We couldn't believe it. She jumped right in and began playing. The kids had to be reminded to contain their enthusiasm so they wouldn't overwhelm her, but she handled it great.

After a little bit of crying she collapsed into the bed and so did her travel weary parents. Pat got up with the big kids, but Hadley and I slept until 2:30pm the next day. Since we didn't sleep on the plane coming home, it worked out quite well. We adjusted to Alabama time within a few days. Hadley still had some middle of the night wake-up cries for the first week or so, but we have adapted to Central Time much better than attempting to adapt to China Time. She now sleeps soundly, once she gets to sleep. Her process of getting to sleep has changed to being pretty restless and lenghty.

She also continues to wake up crying in the morning or after her nap. I hope this will stop soon. I am sure it is still part of her adjustment, but it is sad to think that her first waking moment is one of sadness. She is easily comforted as soon as we pick her up.

Since being home, we have completed our appointment at the International Adoption Clinic and they were amazed at how well she is doing. Coming from such a great orphanage and having a loving caretaker has made our adoption experience "out of the norm." We will forever be grateful to the beautiful lady, "Joa", that took care of Hadley from 9 days until 18 months old and then continued to see her as she moved to her older preschool class. This woman paved the way for our little girl's smooth transition into our family. What a difference just one consistent loving person can make in the life of a child. Joa's position at the orphanage was funded by an extraordinary charity, the Half The Sky Foundation. Half The Sky's mission is to provide additional care takers in Chinese orphanages so that more children have the opportunity to have one primary care taker from birth to 18 months. I really want to learn more about this organization and its founders.

Hadley is continuing to astound us with how well she handles being on the go with the family, meeting new people, going to church, swimming, etc. She enjoys playing at home, too. She plays well with her siblings and is a great independent player also. Her favorite play activity is to take a few toys and sit on the steps by the front door. She lines up blocks, books, beads, whatever; and enjoys her own little quiet world for a while.

We are still working to carefully monitor her stimulation during the day. On nights when we have done too many new things, her sleep is very restless. It's a funny thing. We don't know how she handled the day until bedtime. She can be all smiles and sunshine during the day and then when it is time for sleep, all the negative emotion can come out. I am sure we will make a million mistakes, but so far she is guiding us through this process quite well.

She is beginning to learn some sign language that is bridging our communication gap. She can now say "hello, banana, sock, shoe,Cole, Lulu (our dog), bye-bye, rain, noodles and thank you". Pretty good for less than two weeks of total English immersion. We are working on "I Love You". It seems that she most likes to learn, giggle and talk when it is time to go to bed- hmmmm....but this is sweet time together. She is even laying down and putting her hands together showing me that she is ready to say her prayers. That is priceless.

We couldn't wait to have all of our children together, under one roof, and how wonderful it is. It feels like all is right in the world. Our first dinner at home, I looked at Pat and said, "all of our chairs are full, we are actually all here together." She continues to be a joyful child, full of laughter, smiles and energy (at least around home). She is unnerved by strangers and large crowds and wants Ma-Ma and Ba-Ba close. We are thoroughly enjoying this time, although we get overwhelmed at times with the dishes, laundry and noise (just like before). Most days are great and we are so thankful that we are finally all together at home.

We celebrated Hadley's 2nd birthday at a small park with adopted twin sisters Lily and Kate. Their Mom and I laughed as we introduced Hadley to the girls at the airport and said "meet your new best friends". It is our prayer that these girls will love each other and will find comfort in having similar stories. Lily and Kate are 8 months older than Hadley. They were very excited about making her cupcakes for her birthday. We enjoyed this "low key" celebration. We pray that this is the beginning of a special relationship between these three precious girls.

Thank you for your prayers for us. It was so evident that we were being lifted up before our Father while we were gone. We ask that you continue to pray for Hadley's emotional connection with us and comfort for her heart as she has moments of remembering the orphanage. We would also ask for prayer as we seek to continue to connect with our three older kids. Going from three to four is one thing but when it is a fourth that needs so much extra attention, it is a heavy addition. We pray that our kids will remember this time as an opportunity to see beyond themselves and really learn what it means to serve each other. It is such a huge priviledge to have this little girl as our own. We are thankful to our Lord for providing such a perfect addition to our family.

So Long China, Hello Sweet Home Alabama!

We leave tomorrow to go to the U.S. Consulate's Office for some final paperwork and Hadley's visa for the U.S. We will then literally run to try to catch an early train so that we don't have a two hour wait. If we miss it, we will find some nice air conditioned restaurant to hang out in until the next one. We will spend one night in Hong Kong and then catch an early morning flight to Newark, NJ and then Newark to Atlanta and Atlanta to Birmingham. If all flights are on time we should arrive at home at 8:35 pm.



Many have mentioned a desire to meet us at the airport and we would love to see you. Please do not feel pressured to come, as it is late for kids, but we would love to hug you and thank you for supporting us during our journey and show you our China doll. We know you will understand that we won't be passing her around for hugs quite yet, as the long trip and another new place will be unsettling for her.



Thank you for the kind words, laughing and crying with us along the way. This has been unforgettable. We hope you can forgive our indulgence in sharing such details of this experience. Our hope has been that in experiencing these ups and downs with us, someone may be motivated to adopt another child waiting for her family. If anyone does, please let us know so we can cheer you on from home, as you have done for us.

A Walk in the Park and the Likes of Hadley

We went to the botanical gardens today. It was a beautiful place. Full of amazing flowers and plants and manicured lawns and trees.

We thought our kids would enjoy hearing about the foods we have found so far that Hadley likes to eat. She is not a picky eater. She eats great and has a very wide range of tastes. Some of these foods include: mandarin oranges, apples, loves bananas, pineapple, orange juice, apple juice, grape juice, eggs with anything, diced tomato, ham, onions, (or all together in an omelet), crackers, croissants, chocolate chip muffins, banana bread, chicken, french onion soup, potatos, tofu, all vegetables and anything you can do with rice and noodles. So far we have only found that she doesn’t like bacon, ketchup or carbonated drinks. She is a very healthy eater and most times we feel we put the brakes on when we think she has had enough. The ironic thing is one day she may like something and we will try it the next day and she will not want it. Jane, one of our guides in Hefei, said that she was used to bland foods in her orphanage so for a long time she will be just trying everything we are giving her. It is a whole new culinary world for her so we will keep trying and testing to see where she settles.

When we first accepted Hadley's file and agreed that we wanted to adopt her we were given a two page bio. on her. A few things have turned out not to be true from her bio. sheet. The one sentence that I kiddingly said scared me the most was "she is easy to wake up" ie...she is a light sleeper and doesn't sleep well. We have not found this to be true so far. This girl sleeps great and we have not yet woken her up with our typing, packing, shopping bag rustling, phone ringing or getting into our own sqeeky beds at night. (Funny right after writing this, Pat accidentally woke her up when he came in from shopping with "the guys" to the electronics mall). She has slept through every night with us except two and it seems that the uncomfortable bed space was the issue, we shall see. We understand that this may change when she is settled at home, but all signs point to her continuing this great trend. We are thankful that in a house full of other kids and a dog that she is a good sleeper.

All the other things written about her at 9 months of age have been dead on. She is extremely outgoing and friendly, likes musical bright toys, has "darling looks," she is smart, she likes to mimic and she is active. She hates to have the covers over her feet while she sleeps or even if she is sitting in your lap with a blanket. Her Foster Mom gave me this tip and I have found it very useful. We have also found that she likes things neat and clean. She will move all her toys from the table over to the floor and then back when it is time to go to bed. She finds the tops for things around the room and returns them to us to put them back with the bottom piece. She even brought me our meal vouchers when it was time for us to leave for breakfast this morning. I love having another girl who likes things organized. !!!

Pat and I keep looking at each other and shaking out heads. This is not the typical blog for the adopting parent and we know that and are humbled. God has done this for us and we will never be the same. We never even dreamed to pray for this easy of a transition for her. We knew we would love her but the ease of establishing our relationship with her is really unheard of. I already feel like she has always been with us. I cannot imagine life without her in it. Isn't that strange? She hasn't been with us a week yet. That is an act of God!

Shopping is Hot in Guangzhou

Everyone who has adopted from China before us has said "You will love Guangzhou." They're absolutely right. We have no worries when Lilly and Rebeca are running the ship. They have taken care of every tiny detail for us and we have been able to relax and focus on Hadley.

Today was reserved for shopping. Nothing else was planned and rightly so. We were told by those who have gone before us to wait until Guangzhou to buy anything. Now we understand why. They have huge malls and a million stores all along the street. We were overwhelmed and hot. There were not many stores offering air conditioning. In fact, we made our choice for lunch based on whose air was working the best. It wasn't the most fun day for Hadley but she handled it well. She loves stroller rides and was content 90% of the time. Sam would have been nuts in about 10 minutes with the humidity and the crowds. We enjoyed the day and got time to visit with families from our travel group a little more.

We came back to our cool hotel room (yea!) for Hadley to get some much needed rest. Two funny stories I have to share. I did see a blouse that I liked from a window. I needed another light-weight shirt as even my t-shirts are hot. I tried it on, liked it and then the clerk showed me how the blouse would expand as my belly grew...we had accidentally gone into a maternity shop. I assured her that I no need for any maternity clothes, we laughed and quickly left.

We forgot to tell you that our guide Rebeca was asked by some of the local people while we were at the clinic if we had a celebrity in our group. Yes again, I am married to the look alike for that handsome fella Steve Martin. I think that has happened to us about 4 times since we have been married. I told Pat that is a compliment. I think he is very handsome. Good thing I like grey haired men with great senses of humor. I don't know if Steve Martin is a Father, though he has played some funny ones in the movies, but Pat had a good Father's Day. The big missing part of his day was spending time with Gracie, Cole and Sam. We really miss them. Daddy got a great Father's Day card that Gracie and Cole made for him, complete with a picture of Cole and Dad skate boarding together. Gracie gave Daddy a beautiful picture drawn by herself with a paragraph about why she likes him. She thinks her Daddy is as funny as a clown. So maybe Pat is more like Steve Martin than he would like to admit. We can't wait to get home and introduce Hadley to everyone, especially Gracie, Cole and Sam.

We will go to dinner tonight and head out the the botanical gardens tomorrow and to the riverboat cruise tomorrow evening. It should be a fun but muggy day. Happy Father's Day to our Fathers. Love to all.

A Day for Doctors Visits, First Words and a Kiss!

Today was the day for our Chinese doctor appointment. We walked about 4 or 5 blocks in the rain and muggy heat. It felt like Birmingham (actually more like Miami or Cuba, that's how close to the equator we are). At the medical clinic, we took turns getting into three lines. One line checked baby's temperature, weight and height, etc. - we checked in at a wonderful 28 pounds. My biceps are feeling pretty strong these days. Pat is taking his turns carrying her. I just can’t keep it up. We finally got a stroller and she loves it and actually gets upset when it is time to come out. This girl likes to be on the go. She will fit in very well at our house. The second line is for ENT. She has beautiful teeth, she can hear a squeaking toy and yes, she does have two eyes -check. Not sure how useful that part was, but onto the third line for the Dr's exam. The Dr. studied Hadley's medical record provided by the orphanage and then poked on Hadley some. There was a long discussion between the Dr and our guides, Lily and Rebekah, regarding her Erb's palsy. It seems there was never a record of her shoulder damage on the original medical record. That information was added into her profile for Lifeline after the medical record was sent out to the CCAA, I suppose. Anyway, the encouraging news is that the Dr. said her right arm functioned equally to her left arm. She made us change the record stating the reason for her special need status was "birthmarks." Hadley handled this prodding like a champ. Most of the children did. We were amazed. There were few tears to be heard.

We went back to the hotel for lunch and then up to the room for nap. Mama and Hadley would nap while Daddy would go do paperwork to prepare for our consulate appointment and confirm all information for our trip HOME !!!! Hadley was sad to come back into this strange hotel room. We had not had many smiles yet today. I held her close a few minutes and she fell asleep with about 6 minutes of crying and big tears. She has enjoyed having her pooh bear from her Foster Parents' home today. What a blessing from the Lord, far beyond what we could have hoped or imaged, that we would be given something of hers to take with us. She slept her normal two hour nap but woke up crying and ready to see her Daddy. We can tell she was very attached to her foster father. We know he did spoil her for those 6 months but Jane mentioned that he probably did not work outside the home. He was home helping care for the 5 sometimes 6 kids that they had from the orphanage. He was very fond of her, that was for sure, and the feeling was mutual. This information has been great for us because she has taken to Pat so well. On the other hand we have had to be very careful that she does not get too many needs met by him during this attachment phase. She must see me as her primary care giver alone (the one who feeds her, changes her clothes , helps her potty, gets her to sleep---the basic level need issues). If she does not, she will go through great sadness all over again when he goes to work. There have been a few times when she has resisted me going to pick her up and pulled back toward Pat. We have gulped and quickly pulled back the reins on how much he was doing. This is hard for Pat but he knows it is essential for her. We wish our Daddy could stay home to help me raise our 4 children but that is not possible in America.

Pat came in the door after nap and snack and play time and I got to tell him Hadley's first English words "rain and shoes" and that I got Mamma's first kiss. I hate the camera didn't capture that one. She was happy again. She had taken her dress off for nap and we had slipped her night gown back on. Before I could redress her she ran around in just her panties giggling. Every baby loves to be as naked as possible. We spent a lot of time today going over her family book of pictures and showing her pictures of Gracie, Cole and Sam. Gracie and Cole spoke to her over the phone tonight for the first time, she was still (for the most part). It did our hearts good to know our daughter was hearing their voice, the ones who had prayed so fervently for her from the first time they saw her picture.

We went to dinner with our group tonight to a Thai restaurant that was suggested by Lily. It was great. Pat and I realized it was the most food we had eaten since we left the states. It felt good to finally be full. We did some shopping on our walk back home and picked up our laundry. For those of you old enough to remember the ad on TV, all I could thing about as I opened the clear paper so nicely wrapped around our fresh clothes was "ancient Chinese secret, huh?" We came home, played a little more, called our kids as previously mentioned and got our sweetie to sleep in her bigger bed. She slept better only a few tiny cries through the night and I think that was due to her blanket coming off. I slept better. I didn't wake up until 4am, yippee. We have a full day of shopping ahead of us today. Gracie girl, I wish you were here for shopping with the girls. Cole, we are still on the look out for that dragon shirt and Sam, we are looking for something for you that you can play with and not injure anyone else (maybe a marshmallow sword?). We love you and will write more soon.

Humming and Hairclips

Friday was our last day in Hadley’s hometown. We began our day at breakfast and we were thankful to find our friend Merry working this morning. We had planned to give her a red envelope as a gift of appreciation for her helpfulness to us in learning what things to feed Hadley. The wonderful thing about most Asian people working in service jobs is that they really do act as if it is their pleasure to serve you. Merry was very gracious to receive our gift but we could tell it truly was her pleasure to help us and she was looking for no reward for her kindness.

We left breakfast to go shopping for…luggage. We knew we were going to buy one more piece in Guangzhou so we decided to go ahead. We had to take our fancy potty with us and of course our fan and we forgot to plan for taking the care package gifts we had sent to Hadley in her orphanage back home with us (blanket and large bear) so we ventured out. We got “take-away” (to-go) Kentucky Fried Chicken for lunch. They serve an egg drop soup with vegetables in it so Hadley was happy too. We went back to our hotel to begin the huge task of repacking everything to prepare for our 3pm luggage pick-up. We must confess, despite our best efforts, we brought too much stuff with us and we are getting many comments on how much luggage we have. Oh well, when we bring Hadley, Sam, Cole and Gracie back one day, we will know better (who are we kidding, a family of six, now that luggage will definitely draw some choice remarks from some bell men).

Our afternoon spent packing in the hotel room turned out to be Hadley’s happiest afternoon yet. So many giggles, games of hide-and-seek, belly tickles, playing with toys and hair clips and humming! We were so happy to hear her singing her own little happy tunes. We were amazed. She was so wound-up that we decided to give her a bath to calm her down before her nap. She took to it better this time but we made it quick. She did not want to go down for her nap but reluctantly did with only a little crying.

Jane came to bring us Hadley’s passport and we were ready to leave for the airport. We had woken up our sleepy girl and got her dressed and she was ready for her next adventure. She handled the airport check-in well and didn’t tear up at all. She has a solemn expression with strangers but was totally different when she was alone with us. We said good-bye to Mr. Poo (Peter), Eva, and Jane and boarded our plane to Guangzhou.

If Hadley could have ridden on the wing, I think she would have. She loved looking outside. After take-off I had to make her leave the shades down as it was very bright at dusk and the sun was too much on our side of the plane. Fearing a migraine, from the repeated attempts at the bright light coming in, we redirected Hadley’s attention to the “bag of tricks” we had planned for the ride.

I will pause now to ask for prayer for my headaches. I think this bright light exposure triggered the start of a migraine last night that we were able to divert with meds I brought. I am a bit concerned for my return trip home. I feel fine now, but I had to take a lot of medicine last night. Please pray that my headaches will stop. Pat feels great now, but asks that you continue to pray. He can't remember the last time he felt this good!

Hadley fell asleep on the plane about 20 minutes before landing. She got her power nap and was ready for us to get our luggage and head to the White Swan Hotel. We were greeted by our new guide, Lilly, who showed us our room and gave us the plan for the morning. By 10:30 pm we were just getting PJ's on and going to bed. Going to bed tonight was hard because Hadley was just started feeling really comfortable in the last hotel. She did allow me to hold her close and look in her eyes and she returned my gaze for a while. This was a great sign to us that she truly beginning to trust us. We put her in the bed they provided which, to us, looked too small but she had fallen sound asleep in my arms.

About 1 am she woke up crying hard. (This is the first time she has woken up in the middle of the night since we brought her home). We know she was scared and sad but she also couldn't move in that bed. I pulled her in bed with me and she went right back to sleep. At least she slept. I was dealing with my headache all night but I was glad she was comforted enough to sleep through the rest of the night. Tomorrow we will ask for a bigger bed for her. I enjoyed having a sweet girl to snuggle with.

Off to Guangzhou

We leave this afternoon to travel to Guangzhou and the famous White Swan Hotel. This hotel is known as the "baby hotel" locally and there are normally around 50 foreign adoptive families there at any given time. We will receive Hadley's passport late today and then be on our way.

Next on the agenda is our appointment with the U.S. Consulate which occurs on the 18th. While we wait, Hadley will have a required Dr's exam and then we will join other families currently in China with Lifeline and do some group touring and shopping. Our next post will probably come a bit late, since we will be in transition most of today. Thanks so much for all the encouraging messages.